Chardonnay and Scotch
by Queen Nightingale
Summary: She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer’s day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. DHr. Hogwarts-Style.
1. Chapter 1

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_The meeting of two personalities _

_is like the contact of two chemical substances: _

_if there is any reaction, _

_both are transformed._

- Carl Jung

* * *

She lay out on the field, listening to the quiet humming and strumming of the cicadas as they called out, singing to one another. The wild grasses hid her from sight, and she let herself pretend that she could feel the Earth rotating around its axis. It was dusk, but her wand cast a faint glow on the aged parchment in front of her, casting dancing shadows whenever she shifted. Her full lips whispered the words to herself, as her finger waltzed across the lines etched into the story.

The moon started to peek out from behind the cloud cover, shining bright and silver in the otherwise blackened sky. A bird chirped in the distance, and its lover replied with a detailed, sweet song.

She shifted.

Then paused, as she realized that she was not alone. She could barely make it out, but if she squinted hard enough, she could see his white-blond hair waving in the distance. But then she blinked, and the apparition fled away with the speed of a coyote.

She winced. The memory was all but too painful.

Returning her gaze to the parchment in front of her, her face instantly tensed up. She startled as she heard the howl of a wolf.

She shook her head. She needed to finish this. Strands of her dark chocolate bushy hair fell into her face, but she shook them off with impatience. The wild grass surrounding became much less caressing, and so much more distracting. The bark on the tree that she leaned against began to itch her back. But still, she searched for that last sentence, that last sentence that she so desperately needed to read. Her hand shook, and knocked her wand to the side. Impatiently, she relit it quickly, and shakily turned the parchment.

Her eyes began to fill with tears as they roamed the final page.

It would seem that the end was near.

* * *

Grunting and heaving from exertion, Hermione Granger swung her parchments to and fro as she attempted to walk from the library to her commons room. Under an invisibility cloak, none the less. Harry's invisibility cloak. Which, Harry himself, incidentally did not know that she had taken for late-night studying.

A piece of parchment slipped out of her grasp.

Hermione swore under her breath.

"Bloody piece of paper," She muttered, reaching for her wand (and causing several other papers to become dislodged), "Come back now! I need you for Snape's essay!"

Suddenly, she heard footsteps.

Thump

Thump

Thump

Thump

Hermione froze, then instantly flattened herself against the wall as she prayed that it wasn't Peeves. Or Filch. Or Voldemort, for that matter.

Thump

Thump

Thump

A lock of the palest shade of blond hair glinting under the torchlight made Hermione stifle a gasp as Draco Malfoy came into view. She tried to not breathe as she watched him elegantly bend his tall and lean figure to the ground and pick up her piece of parchment from the floor.

"Well well," Draco mused aloud, his intense grey eyes searching the seemingly empty corridor, "It looks like Granger stopped by for a visit. Or is she still here?"

Letting her breath out inaudibly, Hermione accidentally hiccupped. Very, audibly. And instantly covered her mouth, causing the invisibility cloak that had been covering only half of her body, fall to the ground.

Draco's mouth dropped open.

"Well, huh," Hermione stammered, edging away from the astonished Pureblood, "Hi Draco."

"Granger?!"

Hermione grinned nervously at him, and attempted to take out her wand, but ended up in a heap, with parchment floating in the air around her.

"Smooth, Granger, smooth," Draco snickered at her as Hermione grabbed her wand and glared at him, "Now exactly what were you hiding behind?" Draco grabbed Harry's invisibility cloak, which had been pooling around Hermione's feet.

"Oh bugger off, Malfoy." Hermione ground her teeth, attempting to snatch the invisibility cloak, "Give it back!"

"Why should I?"

"Because it would be lower than your morals to take the belongings of a girl," Hermione sniffed the air and extended her hand in front of him, "Now give it back."

"My dear Miss-us Granger," Draco drawled in a fake Southern Accent, "I do believe that you have forgotten one vital part."

"Malfoy, just give it back!" Hermione crossed her arms and jutted out her hip-bone.

"But, Granger," Malfoy leered at her, "You have forgotten that I have no morals."

"Oh for Merlin's sake Malfoy," Hermione pulled out her wand and pointed it at his head, "Give. It. Back. Now."

"Give me one good reason," Draco sighed and rolled his eyes in nonchalance, "Why I should give you, the mudblood, a very valuable invisibility cloak."

"Maybe," Hermione retorted, "Because it is the mudblood's invisibility cloak? And the mudblood is pointing her wand at your oversized head?"

Draco smirked at her, and quickly closed the distance between them. His tall body made her average stature seem miniscule compared to his 6"1. Leaning over her, he lethargically pushed aside her wand and breathed onto her forehead. Struggling to get away from him, Hermione began to squirm in his grasp until Draco grabbed her wrists and held her against the wall. Slowly, he trailed his mouth to his neck, breathing his hot breath onto her body. Hermione struggled even more.

"Get off of me, you asshole!" She shrieked at him, wrenching out of his grasp.

Draco snorted, breaking the mood instantly, "It seems that you do not care to use that wand of yours so much."

Hermione's eyes widened, and she looked down at her fallen wand.

"You tricked me!" She angrily replied, "You knew I would drop it!"

"It's not my fault I'm so painfully attractive," Draco smirked at her, his intense grey eyes swallowing her up whole, "Anyways, why would I want to touch a mudblood?"

Hermione ignored the strange pang that went through her body at his words, "Oh do shut up, ferret breath."

Draco's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Hermione scowled at him, "I hate you."

"Hate is a strong word, Granger," Draco actually grinned at her, "May I suggest the word abhor?"

"MALFOY," Hermione roared at him, and stepped up so that she was directly in his face, "Give me back my INVISIBILITY CLOAK!"

Draco stood his ground and snickered, "What invisibility cloak? I do believe that you have finally gone bonkers, Granger. Must have been all that hanging around Weasley."

At the utterance of Ron's last name, Hermione slammed her body into Draco, causing them both to go flying down the hallway. They both, instantly, began wrestling one another for the invisibility cloak.

Well, actually, it was more like Hermione was grabbing for it, and Draco was painfully avoiding her every single time.

"Don't insult my friends, Malfoy!" Hermione stopped fighting for a second, and lay on the ground, panting, "You have absolutely NO RIGHT TO."

"You know he's a loser." Draco snickered, and started to get up.

"NO, HE IS NOT A LOSER!" Hermione screamed at him, then pummelled Draco down back to the floor, where they engaged in, yet another, wrestling match.

"GRANGER, GIVE UP!!"

"GIVE IT BACK, FERRET!"

"MUDBLOOD!"

"PUREBLOOD FANATIC!"

"FRIENDS WITH THE GOLDEN LOSER!"

"WELL YOU'RE FRIENDS WITH BOULDERS!"

"AT LEAST THEY'RE SMARTER THAN WEASLEY!"

"MALFOY, JUST GIVE IT BACK!"

And with the last words that Hermione uttered, Draco immediately tensed up and froze on the floor.

"Oh shit," He swore, "Granger, did you hear that?"

"Hear what?!" Hermione exclaimed, as she struggled to free herself from beneath Draco's arms, "And do you mind moving a touch?"

"What is that atrocious noise?" A voice said from around the hall.

"Oh Merlin," Hermione's eyes widened, and she turned her face to Draco, who was breathing right over her, "That's McGonagall. We're going to be in so much trouble! Expulsion, probably, for defiling school grounds with paper, fighting in the hallway - "

"Granger," Draco rolled his eyes, "You have forgotten one minor fact. I have an invisibility cloak." And with a swish of his arms he elegantly switched places with Hermione, covering them both with the invisibility cloak. Now Hermione was lying on his chest, while he lay on the ground, in an elegant heap of sorts.

"Well this isn't awkward at all." Hermione whispered to Draco, shifting on his body, "It really is quite disconcerting to lie on your enemy and feel his muscles."

"You can feel my muscles?" Draco shuddered in pretend disgust, but Hermione 'shh-ed' him and put her head back on his chest, and inadvertently listened to his heartbeat.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

"Why," the voice of McGonagall drifted above them, "What is this mess? All these parchments?" The voice faded a bit as McGonagall leaned down, "Ah, Ms. Granger. Probably up doing some late-night studying. But why would she leave them here?"

Thump-thump. Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

Hermione curled herself closer to Draco, and he unconsciously wrapped his arms around her, holding her captive.

"Something must have scared her," The voice of McGonagall declared, "But what?" The voice faded as she bent down again, "Oh."

"What does she see?!" Hermione hissed furiously to Draco, who motioned her to be quiet.

"A Slytherin's tie?" McGonagall's voice questioned, "Ah. I see. Draco Malfoy must have been here, and an altercation must have taken place. Poor Ms. Granger."

"Why are you always the 'poor Misses Granger'?" Draco whispered furiously to Hermione, who tried to make him be quiet, "You're the one who ripped off my tie!"

"Well, they'll have a talking to in the morning," The voice mumbled sternly, "Both of them shouldn't be wandering around at night, that is one thing for sure."

McGonagall's voice faded as she walked around the corridor, and the two teens froze in position until her footsteps faded away.

"You could," Draco's breath caressed Hermione's ear, "Get off of me now."

"I was just about to." Hermione growled at him, grabbing the invisibility cloak and rolling off of his chest. Draco felt an unnerving emptiness, but shrugged it off.

He watched as she levitated all of her fallen parchments above her head, threw on her invisibility cloak, and proceeded down the hallway with the parchments floating above her head, giving away her position.

He smirked, bent down to pick up his tie, and proceeded in the opposite direction, towards the dungeons.

Neither of them looked back.


	2. Chapter 2

Title:

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

* * *

_Most of you have been where I am tonight._

_The crash site of unrequited love._

_You ask yourself,_

_How did I get here?_

_What was it about?_

_Was it her smile?_

_Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle, the poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists? What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart?_

_That's an age-old question. It's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night._

_- Martin Sage and Sybil Adelman_

* * *

The next day was quite awkward.

It seemed almost as if, despite Draco's best efforts, his eyes just kept on wandering back to those pools of liquid chocolate.

No.

Those pools of mud.

Right.

Under his gaze, Hermione shifted, tucking a spare strand of her dark chocolate hair into her eyes.

Mmmm.

Chocolate.

Dark, chocolate.

Draco always loved the luxurious. The exotic, the fantastic. Pansy, despite her annoying tendencies, exuded a sort of mystery, the type that draws in males. Astoria, the little year 4 that he had his eye on, exuded a subtle scent of the possibilities of catching her.

But Hermione?

No.

Hermione seemed almost wanton, exuding luxury from her every pore. It was a miracle Draco was still denying it to himself.

No.

No.

Hermione was a mudblood.

And Draco Malfoy, does not like mudbloods.

Right?

* * *

Hermione gazed at her sheet of potion paper, playing with a stray strand of her bushy hair that escaped from the bun at the back of her head. She felt the unnerving sensation of being watched. She turned around.

Tha-thump Tha-thump.

Her hands began to shake as her blood pressure escalated.

Those damn eyes.

Draco smirked and turned away, engaging in conversation with Pansy.

"Hermione?"

A familiar, friendly voice called out, and a finger poked her cheek. She turned around and saw Ron's freckled face grinning amicably at her.

"Hermione, you weren't paying attention!" He poked her again, "Harry, did you see that?"

_I really am surrounded by losers_, Hermione innardly groaned.

Harry turned, laughter glistening in his forest-green eyes, "My oh my Hermione, you'll never excel at school with that sort of an attitude."

"Oh, shush, both of you," Hermione said, batting away Ron's fingers furiously, "I was just focusing on my essay."

"By counting the bricks on the wall?"

"Shut up, Ronald."

* * *

It was nightfall.

A silent, stealthy figure crept out of Hogwarts, nearly invisible except for the rustle of cloaks.

Another, equally, silent, and stealthy figure, crept out of Hogwarts. Although, this one was a touch shorter and a touch more feminine.

Bang.

"OUCH!" Hermione yelled as she crashed into the back of somebody standing behind her.

"What the hell?" The figure swore and pretended to dust off his cloaks, "Watch where you're going, retard."

"Who do you think you're calling retard?" Hermione prodded the other figure, "You better watch yourself with that sort of language."

"Oh do be quiet," The figure retorted, slenderly getting back up, "You sound like Mother."

"Mother?" Hermione snorted and giggled, to the astonishment of the figure, "Mother? Who says Mother?"

"And what," The figure sniffed, pulling back their cloak and revealing a certain Draco Malfoy, "Is wrong with calling Mother, Mother?"

Hermione started laughing hysterically as she realized that it was Draco Malfoy, "You do realize that you sound absurd."

"Why are you laughing?" Draco pouted furiously at Hermione, who keeled over with giggles, "Do you know who I am?"

"Y-y-yes," Hermione struggled with her words as she dissolved into another laughing fit, "Y-y-you're Dra-c-co Mal-f-foy. Momma's boy extreme." She started snorting in hysterics, then covered her nose in embarrassment.

"How dare you!" Draco sneered at Hermione, who had stopped laughing and stared up at him from under her hood in a mimicry of fear, "Nobody laughs at Draco Malfoy!"

"But you're not only Draco Malfoy right now," Hermione began to giggle again, "You're momma's boy!" She dissolved into complete hysterics again, clutching at her side and gasping.

"That's not very funny, you know." Draco ruffled his hair in exasperation and stared down at the convulsing girl before him, "And who are you, anyways?" Grabbing Hermione's arm fiercely, he yanked off her hood and growled. "Granger."

"Hello, momma's boy!!" Hermione went limp in his hand and began giggling furiously again.

"Are you drunk, Granger?" Draco peered inquisitively into her eyes.

"No, of course I'm not drunk!" Hermione said, yanking her arm from his grip and fumed, "Do I seem like the sort of person who would get drunk usually?"

"Well you are quite wound up," Draco smirked at her.

Hermione gasped in false indignation, "Your comebacks are so … insulting to my ego."

"Whatever." Draco sighed in exasperation and leaned against the wall, "So Granger, do you mind telling me exactly why we keep meeting like this?"

"I think you just naturally gravitate towards me," Hermione replied, ignoring Draco's fake gagging sounds, "And why are you sneaking around Hogwarts?"

"I could ask you likewise," Draco retorted, his eyes narrowing.

A tense silence fell between the two as they stared the other down.

"Oh, whatever Malfoy," Hermione threw up her arms, breaking the silence, "You win the 'who's going to stare the other person down contest', okay? Now let me go back to my commons room in peace."

Draco stood in the shadows and watched her tromp off, back to her inevitable Gryffindor commons room.

"Oh, Granger …" He called out, causing Hermione to quickly turn around.

"What, Malfoy?!" Hermione yelled.

"You might want to start paying more attention in Potions," Draco sneered at her, "You got question 8b of your homework wrong." He stalked off into the shadows, covering his hair with his dark cloak.

Hermione watched him until he left, sticking out her tongue at his back. Then she paused.

"How did he know that?"


	3. Chapter 3

Title:

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**Hey everyone out there! This is just a teensy-weensy author's note. I just wanted to make a little remark that this story is merely for fun. I'm not doing this for reviews, and that's probably the reason why I have such a low review count compared to my other story. This will just be a story for your own pure enjoyment, so don't feel pressured to leave a review, although if you could drop me a line, I would be eternally grateful. It always helps to get feedback! But if you don't want to, just sit back and enjoy the ride.**

**Also, there's some slang that gay people may consider offensive in this part of the story (just the word poof). I personally have no problem against gay people – in the context, I feel that Draco would use the term poof. But just so that you know, I do not share the same feeling that using that term is okay to describe a gay person.**

**And lets go!**

* * *

_I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception._

_I asked this girl to sleep with me_

_And she said 'no'._

- Woody Allen

* * *

The next morning was like all other mornings.

Draco woke up, slammed his curtains closed, and went back to sleep.

Blaise fell out of his bed, cursing like usual.

Crabbe and Goyle ignored all sound and continued snoring like elephants.

Blaise kept swearing like a sailor as he walked into his bed post.

Draco covered his ears with his pillow and attempted to drown out the noise.

Crabbe and Goyle ignored all sound and continued snoring like elephants.

Blaise went into the bathroom, sleepily brushed his teeth, then grabbed a cup of water. He walked over to Draco and splashed him with it.

Draco sputtered.

Crabbe and Goyle ignored all sound and continued snoring like elephants.

Blaise ignored Draco's screams of indignation and went back to claim the bathroom as his own.

Draco shook out his sopping wet head, got up in his boxers, and proceeded to walk into Crabbe's bedpost, cursing loudly.

Crabbe and Goyle ignored all sound and continued snoring like elephants.

Blaise opened the bathroom door and smirked at Draco, who had a tendency to do that every morning.

Draco lunged at Blaise, and they wrestled on the floor for the bathroom.

Crabbe woke up.

Goyle woke up.

Goyle lumbered into the bathroom first, and Crabbe leaned under his bed to put on his socks.

Blaise and Draco kept on wrestling.

Goyle finished in the washroom, itched his butt, and went down to the commons.

Blaise and Draco kept on wrestling.

Crabbe finished in the washroom, grunted, and went down to the commons.

Blaise and Draco kept on wrestling.

Pansy suddenly appeared in the doorway, and seeing Draco and Blaise fighting, raised the alarm to the other students that there was a fight.

Nobody came. This happened every morning.

Blaise and Draco stopped wrestling, looked at Pansy, and attempted to cover themselves up.

Pansy giggled and blushed, then attempted to look sexy.

It failed.

Draco threw on his clothes in front of Pansy, not buttoning up his shirt the full way, and escaped down into the commons.

Blaise froze as he realized he was alone with Pansy. Pansy grinned. Blaise grimaced, and yelled downstairs: "Some sort of friend you are!" to Draco's retreating back. Draco smirked back at him, and replied: "Well, I am a Slytherin."

This happened every morning, for the past 5 years.

But this didn't happen, on February 14th.

* * *

You see,

Dracowokeup,slammedhiscurtainsclosed,andwentbacktosleep.

Blaisefelloutofhisbed,cursinglikeusual.

CrabbeandGoyleignoredallsoundandcontinuedsnoringlikeelephants.

Blaisekeptswearinglikeasailorashewalkedintohisbedpost.

Dracocoveredhisearswithhispillowandattemptedtodrownoutthenoise.

* * *

And then that's where things went wrong.

Draco's pillow, had turned into a chicken.

"CHICKENNNN!!", Draco screamed, causing Blaise to look in at him from his position in the bathroom, "ARGHHHHH!!" He fell out of his bed, waking up Crabbe and Goyle, and causing Blaise to laugh so hard that he swallowed his toothpaste and slipped on the floor.

"What the FUCK up your ass today, Draco?" Blaise snickered from his position on the bathroom floor.

"CHICKENNNNNNNNNNN!!" Draco shrieked, running around the room, chased by a hen, in his boxers, "CHICKENNNNNNNNNN!! THERE'S A BLOODY CHICKENNNNN!!"

"Duh, what?!" Goyle turned to face Draco, and nearly got his eyes pecked out.

"WHY IS THERE A BLOODY CHICKEN IN MY BED?!" Draco swore, screaming and ran around the room, "HELP MEEEEEE!!"

"Draco," Blaise said seriously, "If you have some sexual preferences that aren't usual, don't be afraid of them. Embrace your sexuality! Chicken-loving is okay to do."

"I. WILL. KILL. YOU." Draco turned to Blaise, screaming his head off, "GET THIS CHICKEN AWAY FROM ME!"

Blaise sniggered, then got up from the bathroom floor and yelled out, "OH PANSYKINS!"

"DRACO!" A female voice replied from in the hallway, then banging started on the door.

Blaise started laughing, and replied, "Draco is currently bedding a chicken."

"I AM NOT BEDDING A CHICKEN!" Draco roared, jumping onto his bed and quivering away from the angry hen, "BUT WHY THE FUCK IS THERE A CHICKEN IN MY BED?"

"Draco is bedding a chicken?" The voice exclaimed, flabbergasted, "I must tell Daphne about this. Daphne, did you hear? Draco is bedding a chicken!"

"No way!" Another female voice said, "Let me tell Mildred immediately!"

"BLAISE ZABINI!" Draco roared from his position behind the bed-post, "I HATE YOU!"

"Why the hell is there a chicken in your bed, Draco?!" Blaise sniggered in disbelief, looking at the angry hen, "And by the way, you know you love me."

"BLAISE LOVES DRACO!" A female voice shrieked from outside, and Blaise groaned, putting his head in his hands, "HE'S GAY!"

"I am NOT GAY!" Blaise roared outside, and Draco started to snigger, "Oh shut up. Better than bedding a chicken."

"Blaise," Draco retorted, "Could you by any chance help me catch this hen so that I can kill you?"

"My pleasure, dear sire.", Blaise sarcastically replied, "Should I bring you a croissant while I'm doing that?"

"BLAISE WANTS TO BE DRACO'S SEX SLAVE!"

"OH FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN!!" Blaise yelled, and Draco started guffawing so hard that he nearly lost hold of his bed-post, "I DO NOT WANT TO BE DRACO'S SEX SLAVE!"

Suddenly, Goyle grunted, and Crabbe groaned. They both made their way into the washroom, where they closed the door. From a crack in the door, Blaise and Draco could see them itching their butts in time to one another.

Blaise stared at their backs, then made eye contact with Draco. Within moments the two of them were giggling like little boys.

"OH GOD." Draco roared with laughter, clinging onto the bedpost, "And you thought we were bad."

The hen started to peck Draco again, and he yelped and attempted to climb the bed-post, breaking the bed and causing it to collapse on Blaise's toe.

"YOU DITWAD!" Blaise shrieked, "THAT WAS MY BED! AND THIS IS MY DAMN TOE!!"

"WELL GET THE DAMN HEN AWAY FROM ME THEN!" Draco yelled back at him, hopping onto Goyle's bed and hiding behind his bedpost.

And with a roar, Blaise body-slammed the hen, smashing it.

He got up, and examined it.

"You awful boy," Draco feigned a British accent, "Unproperly squishing a hen."

"Well I didn't see you doing anything about it," Blaise retorted, then mimicked Draco, "Oh save me from the chicken! Save me! Save me!"

"At least I don't have the blood of a innocent chicken on my hands," Draco smirked, staring at the squashed hen, "You evil, animal abuser."

"BLAISE IS AN ANIMAL ABUSER, PANSY!"

"OH SHUT UP, DAPHNE!" Blaise roared to outside, then came closer to the hen, prodding it with his wand, "Draco, this is no ordinary chicken."

"And you, my friend," Draco moved into a super-hero pose on his bed, "Are no ordinary boy. With the powers of the righteous chicken, you can take over the world!"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Draco, look at this," Blaise rolled his eyes, then prodded the chicken again with his wand, extracting a goo-like substance from it's inside, "It's made of fucking jelly."

"AND WITH THE POWERS OF THE JELLY-MAN CHICKEN," Draco screamed from his position on the bedpost, barely holding back his laughter, "BLAISE ZABINI, CHICKEN-MAN EXTREME, CAN SQUISH HIS EVIL OPPONENTS WITH HIS FAT-LIKE JELLO SUBSTANCE THAT OOZES FROM HIS INSIDES."

Blaise silently stared up at the convulsing Draco.

"You had to admit, that was prettttttty funny." Draco laughed, then hopped down from behind the bedpost, "Now what did you want to show me?"

"IT'S CHICKEN GOO!" Blaise roared, flinging a handful of the goo-like substance at Draco, who yelled out and ducked, causing the goo to hit the wall behind him, "FEAR THE WRATH OF THE CHICKEN MAN!"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Blaise," Draco dusted goo off of his chest, "I thought you were above that sort of stuff. You're so immature."

Blaise prodded the goo once again, then said, "We might as well show this to Dumbledore."

"And tell him what?" Draco said, "That my pillow turned into a chicken with goo?"

"You never know," Blaise retorted, smirking at Draco, "You might just discover that you have secret pillow-turning-chicken powers."

"Alright, alright," Draco turned away from him, then swore, "BLAISE, YOU FUCKER! You squashed the damn chicken over all my clothes!"

"Then you'll just have to go downstairs in your boxers, a'ight?!" Blaise snorted with laughter at Draco's pissed off expression, "Hold your horses, doofus. I have an extra pair of pants, but you're going to have to go topless."

"Top-less?" Draco snorted, then grabbed a pair of black pants from Blaise's pile of clothes, "I do believe the correct term for a male is shirt-less. Wait, I forgot. You're a poof."

"Shut up," Blaise said, throwing on his dress shirt, "At least I don't like to bed chickens."

"What the fuck was that chicken doing in my bed anyways?" Draco said, as he made way for the door.

"I think you're just not telling me something Draco," Blaise snorted, and ruffled his hair.

Draco picked up a pair of Goyle's dirty underwear and threw it at Blaise, who promptly began to gag.

"The inhuman torture!" Blaise yelled.

Draco rolled his eyes at him, then opened the door and came face to face with a bunch of Slytherin girls ogling his chest.

"Move." He grunted, and shoved his way past them.

* * *

Once he made his way down the stairs, he met Pansy, who looked absolutely flabbergasted by Draco's bare chest.

"Draco?" She walked up to him, and brushed herself against his chest, causing Draco to stifle a moan; sure, she was rude, mean, and annoying, but damn, she was hot, "Not that I have a problem with it, but sweetheart, why aren't you wearing a top?"

"It's a long story, Pansy. It's a long story."


	4. Chapter 4

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**This chapter is a touch crappy, and I've been suffering from terrible writer's block. But stick with me, people, it'll get better eventually.**

**I love you all so much! Wow! I didn't realize that people still read this and cared about it. Reviews will make me update sooner; so review, review, review. Thank you so much to those 5 darlings who reviewed my author's note – you probably have no idea how much that support meant to me! Sorry, but once again, I can't reply to each individual review because my computer's messed up, but know that you have my everlasting gratitude. I've been away from my little sanctuary of fanfiction for too long; I had forgotten that I ever existed on this plane of thought, but now that I'm back, I realized just how much I missed it.**

* * *

"_By its very nature the beautiful is isolated from everything else._

_From beauty no road leads to reality."_

_- Anonymous_

Hermione entered the Great Hall amid a crowd of second years, craning her head to spot Harry and Ron. Seeing Harry wave her over, she ducked her head down and tried desperately to free herself from the mass of second years swarming around her torso.

"Go, go, go!" Hermione muttered under her breath, trying to get pass the impenetrable barrier of bodies.

"MIONE!" Ron roared across the Great Hall, spewing food on half of the Gryffindors, eliciting moans of: "Ew, Ron!" and "Not again!", "COME OVER HERE!"

Hermione held back a giggle and a faint smile curved across her cheeks. Hurrying past the second years, she plopped down beside him on the bench, and pushed her bookbag gently onto the floor.

"Where were you this morning, Hermione?" Harry asked between mouthfuls of breakfast.

"She uz 'obably in fa lub'ary." Ron spat out through his gulps of oatmeal.

"Yes, I was in the library, Ronald," Hermione replied, reaching across for a muffin and starting to butter it, "I was researching, in fact, a new spell to turn inanimate objects into animate objects. The only problem is that the animate objects seem to have a sort of, gooey problem after the transfiguration."

"Oooooring," Ron rolled his eyes and grabbed a French toast off of Hermione's plate, "I 'ate Transfffigurawion."

"I actually accidentally cast the spell too," Hermione mumbled, ignoring Ron and batting Harry's hands away from her plate, "It hit the ground and just sort of disappeared."

"Well, no harm done, Hermione," Neville piped up, across from her, "I'm sure you'll get the hang of the spell eventually."

Hermione smiled at him, "I hope so, Neville."

"What classes do we have today, Hermione?" Harry reached over to Hermione and grabbed her bookbag, rifling through it to find her schedule.

"Don't just grab my bookbag, Harry." Hermione sighed, and grabbed it back from him, "How many times have I told you that?"

"Herbology!" Harry declared, holding up Hermione's schedule, "Herbology first!"

Neville shuffled over in his seat as Ginny sat down beside him, "I love herbology."

"Well, I think Professor Sprout is an old hag." Ginny shook her mass of fiery hair in evident disgust, then reached for a bowl of oatmeal, "The other day she totally ratted me out in front of the whole class for being late. As if five minutes is really that important."

"Y ur yoo 'ittin wit us?" Ron spat out at Ginny, making her scream in disgust as oatmeal landed on her sweater.

Cleaning it off, she replied, "Clementine and Maggie took off early, and I'm not just going to sit by myself. Nobody minds, right?"

"No problem whatsoever." Harry grinned at her from across the table, ruffling his hair with one hand and then grabbing Ginny's bowl of oatmeal, resulting in a fight for the breakfast.

At the end of the Gryffindor table, a girly scream was heard, and multiple forks clattered to the ground.

"What was that?" Ron said, finishing chugging his orange juice, and having just separated Harry and Ginny, was quite flushed.

Hermione glanced towards the end of the Gryffindor table. Parvati Patil had apparently gone mental, and was looking towards the Great Hall's entrance doors with fascination, her fork on the floor, as were many other Gryffindor girls'.

"What the heck?" Harry stared at the entrance to the Great Hall, then dropped his fork into his pudding as a figure approached the doors.

Ron gagged, spitting out a huge lump of oatmeal and orange juice onto his plate, his eyes wide.

An evidently shirtless, Draco Malfoy, had arrived.

* * *

Draco frowned as he approached the Great Hall. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to go shirtless after all. It was bloody cold in the castle, and his light arm hair stood up, giving him goosebumps.

He walked into the Great Hall and made his way towards the Slytherin table, oblivious to the stares directed straight at him. Thrusting his hands deep into his pockets, he was about to sit down next to Pansy, when suddenly:

"MR. MALFOY! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?"

Draco's head shot up suddenly, and he fell backwards over the bench. A resounding thump sound was heard throughout the suddenly hushed Great Hall, and cursing echoed around the walls.

"MR. MALFOY?"

Draco pinched himself fervently, then poked Pansy in the arm, "Is someone calling me?"

"It's fucking McGonagall, idiot." She poked him back.

"Bloody 'ell!" Draco sat up straight and wildly pivoted his head towards the enraged professor, "She looks like a bloody fucking mule on steroids!"

"You know, Ferret, SHE can hear you!" Weasley yelled out from the Gryffindor table, as people began to snicker.

"That was not necessary, Mr. Weasley, but thank you for your support." The head of the Gryffindor house sniffed daintly, then approached Draco, "And what is the meaning of this?"

"Of what?"

"Your … lack of garments?"

"Uh, nothing?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes?"

"Would you bet your life on it?"

"Yes. There is no deep and underlying psychological meaning for me to go topless, with all due respect, Professor. And I don't think that there's any problem with it, seeing as how there's no rule against lack of tops in Hogwart's dress code. I should know, seeing as how my great-grandad wrote the freaking thing." Draco retorted, shaking a few stray blond hairs off of his face while doing so.

Hermione rolled her eyes on the other side of the Hall. For a minute there Draco imagined touching her puffy light brown hair, rolling it between his fingers, lacing his hand into it and grabbing her face and tempting her soft pout with the lightest of touches and

"LET THE REBELLION BEGIN!"

A voice boomed from behind the doors to the Great Hall, startling Draco from his reverie, and a snickering (and topless) … and quite confident Blaise Zabini emerged, and sneer plastered onto his handsome face. With a cheer, all of Slytherin rose from their seats and some of the more confident threw off their tops.

The other houses looked stunned.

Professor McGonagall fainted.

* * *

"Bloody fuckin' hell," Ron swore, nudging Hermione, his food forgotten, "Do you see what I'm seeing?"

Looking over at Draco, Hermione noticed that his torso was almost that of a swimmer's, hard and lean, and his lanky figure emphasized his boyish, yet solid muscles. His black dress pants were baggy enough to be sexy, sitting low on his hips, creating that coveted V shape in his abdomen that so many models would die for. Pale blond hair coated his arms, and a trail of fine hair ran from his belly button straight into the waistline of his pants, almost tempting the viewer to find out what lay below. As he thrust his hands into his pockets again, making his pants fall even lower, Hermione swallowed. Hard.

"She's probably seeing something a bit different from you, Ron," Ginny snickered, sizing up Hermione's dilated eyes, "Us females are in heaven right now."

At those words, Harry turned sharply to Ginny, who gave him a cruel and quick elevator gaze, "Looks like Slytherin beats Gryffindor on the deezed factor."

"So, so, true." Hermione whispered under her breath, staring at Draco.


	5. Chapter 5

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**I really apologize for not updating in a long time (about a month). It's just that it's been September, y'know, the start of school, and I'm now in grade 11 (believe it or not!), so my life has turned upside down with social pressures, schoolwork, and stress about going to university. **

**So, yes, I haven't updated in a while. My life has been an absolute whirlwind so far – in the first week back at school I managed to have a crazy night out with friends, where everything BAD that I wanted to happen this school year happened, so now I'm just coasting along satisfied, wondering what to do with the rest of my life at school.**

**Once again, if you like my story, please feel free to leave a review, rant, rampage, or even a flame if necessary. I love reading reviews, but I can't reply back to them (DAMN dial-up) for some odd reason, but please know that they are REALLY appreciated!**

**Gah, I always manage to write too much in author's notes, but I figure you all like explanations. You don't mind, do you?**

**And we're back!**

* * *

_"If history repeats itself,_

_and the unexpected always happens, _

_how incapable must Man be of learning from experience."_

_- George Bernard Shaw_

* * *

Draco's eyes bulged as he watched half of his classmates throw off their tops, girls included, with some of them preferring to wear only a tie.

Pansy Parkinson, sitting next to him, clad only in a lacy yellow push-up bra, neatly swept her long black hair away from her face and reached for an apple, chewing thoughtfully as if she normally only ate breakfast in her undergarments.

Blaise, wearing the same delicious low-rise pants that Draco opted for, quickly jogged over to the Slytherin table, ignoring the commotion surrounding his previous outburst; his lean but muscular torso stared at by every girl every time he moved. His green slytherin tie bounced off his dark chocolate chest.

With a roar of laughter that startled Pansy, causing her to drop the apple, Draco stood up, thinking that it was better to embrace life while it lasted. He yelled out:

"Beat that, Gryffin-DORK!!"

* * *

Across the loud din of noise, Hermione stared dazedly across at the Slytherin table, the occupants of it in various degrees of dress. Even Slughorn had apparently thrown off his top. Oh Gosh, that was scarring.

She snapped out of her spell and looked at her tablemates. Ginny appeared to be smirking at Harry, who looked jealous beyond belief, while Ron's mouth had actually hit the top of the table. Neville had spilled pumpkin juice all over his jumper out of his shock (or was it excitement?), while Dean and Seamus at the end of their table appeared to be drooling at Pansy.

"SNAP OUT OF IT!" Hermione shrieked at her friends, snapping her fingers wildly in front of their faces.

Ginny turned around and grinned, "Exactly who was just out of it" She motioned quotes in the air, "like five seconds ago?"

"They're just being stupid and want attention." Hermione retorted, watching Professor Flitwick attempt to lift an unconscious Professor McGonagall off the floor, failing miserably.

"Well damn, they sure got it." Seamus ogled a Slytherin girl in a neon-pink bra at the end of the table.

"We'll never be able to top this," Ron murmured disconsolately, looking morosely at his oatmeal. Out of the corner of Hermione's eye, she spotted the dark Slytherin who had yelled running towards Draco at his table. She rolled her eyes, and looked back at Ron.

"We've beat them every year at Quidditch, Ron, you'd think that'd be enough for you." She said, trying to cheer him up.

"Mmm, that's some goooooood dark chocolate there." Ginny nudged Hermione in the face, the latter turning red, pointing out Blaise running across the Hall.

Harry turned an uncomfortable shade of angry purple.

"He isn't even that ripped!" Harry spat out at Ginny, who turned back to him, a look of innocence on her face.

"Oh, what's that you said?"

All of a sudden, Draco's voice amplified across the Hall,

"BEAT THAT, GRYFFIN-DORK!!"

Hermione whipped her head around, and saw the arrogant bastard shouting at the top of his lungs across the Hall. The hall immediately silenced, as the houses waited for Gryffindor to reply.

Instantly, Ron and Harry were up on the table, their wands out, with Hermione clambering up after them.

Ron muttered a amplifying spell under his breath, and his voice boomed out across the Hall. Hermione chanced a look at the teacher's table, and saw Dumbledore leaning across the table, looking thoroughly amused.

"At least us Gryffindors aren't man and she-whores like you!" Ron retorted back, Harry nodding vigorously.

"Damn, but we're some FINE man and she-whores!" Draco roared across the Hall, causing the Slytherin table to break out into cheers and cat-calls.

"Nope, you're wrong, Malfoy," Hermione grinned innocently at him from across the Hall, stepping in front of Harry and Ron and looking deeply into his grey eyes, "You see, you all got it from yo mamas. But yo mamas are so ugly, the strip clubs PAY for them to keep their clothes ON."

At that the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables stood up and roared in unity. The earth literally shook with their stomping.

The Hall quickly quieted, however, as everyone turned to see Draco's reaction.

Draco sneered easily, quickly reverting into his Slytherin mask, "You think that was an insult?"

The Slytherins oooh'ed.

"An INSULT?"

The Slytherins Oooh'ed even louder.

"AN INSULT?!"

The Slytherins and almost half of Ravenclaw got up and screamed 'oooh' at Gryffindor and Hufflepuff.

"Yo MAMAS ARE SO UGLY, WHEN THEY GO TO THE BANK THEY TURN OFF THE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS! YOUR HEADS ARE AS EMPTY AS THEM EUNICH'S UNDERPANTS! NICE OUTFITS. I DIDN'T KNOW KIDS'R'US CAME IN ADULT SIZES! AND IF BRAINS WERE MONEY, YOU'D ALL BE CHARITY CASES!"

Slytherin roared.

Hermione growled, as Ron and Harry stuck their wands out even further towards the Slytherin table, and all the Gryffindors stood up.

Ron looked down at their table, looked up towards Draco, and roared out two words:

"FOOD FIGHT! DIE FUCKERS DIE!"

and promptly threw his bowl of oatmeal on Draco's head.

Okay, maybe five.


	6. Chapter 6

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**I'm going to write a long author's note. I can't help it. Accept it, fools. I'm an author's note-whore. O.0. Anyways, thanks so much to the people who reviewed! Yay! People still read this! One of you left such a lovely review (that my insults were ambrosia!) that I felt warm and fuzzy inside. Because four of you replied so quickly and left such exquisite reviews, I'm going to post this chapter really soon (aka now). **

**I really should be studying for a math test coming up on Monday, but that's just the story of my life. **

**I also updated my profile, so in case anyone's interested in learning about me, check it out!**

* * *

_Oh! Do not attack me with your watch. _

_A watch is always too fast or too slow. _

_I cannot be dictated to by a watch._

_- Jane Austen (Mansfield Park)_

* * *

Draco stared blankly at the bowl of oatmeal that was promptly hurtling towards him. Too stunned to think, the King of Slytherin stood frozen on the top of the Slytherin table as the bowl of oatmeal thwacked him on his head. Stumbling, Draco righted himself, yanked the bowl of oatmeal off of his head, wiped his face quickly with his left hand, promptly grabbed a sausage from his plate and sent it flying over to the Gryffindors, whacking the Boy Who Just Couldn't Die in the face, who looked stunned by the sudden impact that the flying sausage had made.

Then chaos broke out.

Draco jumped off the table and grabbed his bowl of cheerios, shoving it at Blaise's face, and dodging Pansy's half-bitten apple that was soaring towards his ass. Slamming his hand into a bowl of potato salad, he shoved the messy goop into Theodore Nott's chest, who was turning around to nail him with a pitcher of milk. Quickly looking around, Draco noticed that Granger was standing in the middle of the Gryffindor table, looking extremely pissed off, yelling at her friends (including the Weaslette, who Draco noticed was pwning Potter with her cheerios) as her entire table engaged in a massive food fight among themselves and the rest of the Hall.

Could she even get off her bloody high horse for one second? Draco rolled his eyes and paused for a second, sneered at the Gryffindor bookworm. The most epic foodfight in Hogwart's history was happening and she was too prissy to even join in. Time for someone to dethrone the Gryffindor Queen.

Something wet hit Draco's neck, and he turned around to see Blaise sneering at him, holding a clump of disgusting looking oatmeal in his hand. Touching the back of his neck, Draco swore.

"Oh you're going DOWN, fucker!" He grabbed the entire bowl of potato salad and threw it at the dark Slytherin, snickering wildly and clutching his side as Blaise got hit by an entire pot of Potato Salad, falling to the ground.

Oh, that was fun.

* * *

On the other side of the Great Hall, Hermione wasn't having just so much fun.

"STOP IT NOW!" She shrieked and tried to separate her friends, "That is ENOUGH GINNY!"

Ginny smiled innocently up at Hermione and whipped her in the face with a handful of blueberries, before going back to soaking Harry with a pitcher of milk, the latter not even attempting to defend himself anymore.

"You can defeat You-know-who, but not even me?" Ginny frowned at Harry, thrusting the milk pitcher away, twirling her dark red hair around her finger.

"Think what you want to think," Harry's eyes took on a sparkling light, "But at the end of the day, you'll be the one covered in breakfast, not me." And he promptly shoved a handful of squished strawberries down her shirt before realizing what he did, removing his hand quickly and blushing maniacally.

Ginny, if it was possible, turned an even darker shade of red, and, shaking out her top, grabbed an entire bowl of cheerios and dumped them down Harry's top, causing the Boy Who Lived to squeal like a baby.

Hermione rolled her eyes in exasperation and turned away from the two squabbling lovebirds, focusing her attention on Ron and Padma Patil.

"TAKE THAT for ditching me at the Yule Ball!" Padma was currently screaming in Ron's face as she squished a Danish into Ron's neck, "And THAT for ditching me again!" She grabbed her orange juice and dumped it on Ron's head, her black hair flailing furiously around her.

"Wasn't like you were ANY GOOD COMPANY!" Ron angrily replied, grabbing her shoulders.

"But I wasn't the one who DITCHED YOU!" Padma screamed back at him, grabbing another Danish and throwing it in Ron's face, causing him to step back and let go of her, "How could you do that to me?"

"I was an ASSHOLE back then, Padma," Ron yelled at her, grabbing her shoulders again and thrusting his face close to hers, "I've told you that a BILLION times. I'm NOT LIKE THAT ANYMORE."

From her vantage spot, Hermione saw what looked like a tear trail running down Padma's face. The Gryffindor and Ravenclaw stood arguing in the middle of the huge food fight, almost a bubble of anger surrounding them.

"You know, I ACTUALLY SORT OF LIKED YOU THEN!" Padma yelled back at Ron, twisting to try and get out of his grasp, and ducking to avoid a pastry hitting her head, "But you were just a huge jerk to me!"

"I'm not a jerk anymore, Padma." Ron held her to him, her smaller body trembling as Padma tried to regain her dignity, "Will you please give me a chance to prove it to you?"

Hermione strained further to try and hear more of their conversation from her position on the table, before a wet substance covered her face and she tumbled off of it, falling on her ass on the ground.

"You know, it's not nice to eavesdrop, Granger." A drawl came from the left of her, and Hermione pried the meat pie off her face, throwing it to the ground and glowering at the Slytherin standing next to her.

"Was that really necessary, Malfoy?" Hermione sniffed, brushing crumbs off of her pants, and glancing up at him, feeling a bit breathless at the Adonis standing in front of her.

Draco's dark blond hair was messy and whipped around his head, completely free of that god-awful gel that he usually used, and his muscular torso was covered in different substances. His pants were even LOWER, if that was possible, and the milk dripping down his chest emphasized his beautiful skin. She looked up to his neck, and spotted a tiny droplet of liquid pooling off of his collarbone, dripping down from the side of his head, which sported the remnants of a Danish.

Hermione frowned, and glared at him again. How was it possible for someone to look good even when they were covered in food?

Draco stared down at the little bundle of dark curls currently glaring at him. Granger's robes were open, and the white top that she wore underneath them was starting to look see-through, so Draco could see the beginning of a small bra underneath them. He unconsciously licked his lips, then his eyes traveled down the rest of her body, pausing at where her shirt had ridden up and her creamy hip-bone could be seen.

Glancing back up at her face, Draco noticed a small smudge of chocolate underneath one of her eyes, and the other side of her face had small splotches of blue coating it. Her curls were wavy and big, and some strands were covered in liquid, some were not.

Draco scowled down at her, pissed off. How was it possible for someone to look good even when they were covered in food?

"Yes, that was necessary, Granger." He shook himself out of his trance, sneering down at the petite Gryffindor, "It's about time that you fell off of that high horse of yours."

"High horse?" She scowled up at him, grabbing a bowl of cheerios and throwing it at him, "Why don't you get off of yours?"


	7. Chapter 7

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**I'm updating againnn!! This must be a record for me. Anyways, after four reviews (I usually update after I get 4 reviews. I like the number 4.), some of which pleasantly surprised me (marriage proposal, much!), I received some constructive criticism that I should cut back on the food-fights that I incorporate into my writing and focus more on creative aspects of this fanfiction. I understand that food fights are extraordinarily clichéd, I understand, so don't worry, this fanfiction isn't going to be just about food fights and silly stuff. I'm really leading up for this to turn into an extraordinary romance, of what sort I'm not entirely sure of yet. But you also have to understand, the silly stuff is so much fun to write, and such great fillers that I'd never be able to drop it.**

**In response to a question from a review from a previous chapter … no. I am not on acid.**

**Feel free to leave a review.**

_The good or ill of a man lies within his own will._

_- Joseph Murphy_

* * *

Draco's mouth dropped open as he was bombarded with a bowl of cheerios. From the (somewhat) innocent looking ball of curls standing in front of him, nonetheless.

"Oh, you're going DOWN Granger!" He yelled at Hermione, who promptly started running away from him, clutching her sides from laughter, "Take THAT!"

Hermione's eyes opened wide as a ball of rice pudding hit her side. Giggling gleefully, she stuck her hand into (what was originally) Seamus' hard-boiled eggs, grabbing a handful of them and whipping them at Draco, who then had to duck and take evasive action under the Gryffindor table. Scooping out some jam from a jam jar, she ran up to Draco and slid her jammed-up hand down his side of his extended pant leg.

Draco roared out, attempting to stand up but whacking his head against the top of the Gryffindor table, his blond hair flying everywhere, "Bloody hell Granger, that's it!"

Sliding out from under the Gryffindor table, he grabbed Hermione, twisting her body as she kicked and screamed, and pulling her underneath the table again where he promptly doused her upper body in orange juice.

"MAAAALFOY!" Hermione gasped, choking for air once the orange juice had spread over the top half of her body, attempting to get up from where she was straddled between Draco's legs and his bent body.

"Whatchu gunna do bout it?" Draco harmlessly teased her.

"Whatcha gunna do bout all that junk, all that junk inside yo trunk? Check it out, now," Hermione rapped out, causing Draco to roll off of her in shock.

"What was that you were saying?" He turned to face Hermione, coming up close to her charmingly crooked button nose, retracting a bit out of self-consciousness.

"It's a muggle song," Hermione glared across at him, the two of them protected underneath the table as Hogwarts fell into uproar around them, "Was it so disgusting that you flinched? Or was that my disgusting mudblood skin?"

"No, it's not that, or that either," Draco ignored the shooting daggers coming out of Hermione's eyes, "It's just that the Weird Sisters came out with a song like that before."

"Mhmm?" Hermione's eyebrow shot up as her body curled up to face Draco, "And what was that song about?"

"Kind of crappy, actually." Draco smirked at Hermione, "Kept on talking about lovely lady lumps."

Hermione looked at Draco, checking for his seriousness, and snickering, she then burst into guffaws.

"You" – giggle – "listen" – snort – "to" – shriek and clutch of sides – "FERGIE?"

Draco looked down amusedly at the girl howling beside him, then turned and glared at a foot near his neck that dared kick a danish towards him, batting away an another astray muffin as he did so.

"I'm more surprised that you are, really." Draco replied, resting his head on his hand as he turned to face Hermione, "Since when do bookworms listen to the Black Eyed Peas?"

"Since like forever!" Hermione smiled disarmingly at Draco, "Just because I'm good at school doesn't mean that I don't appreciate music. But why would a pureblood like you be listening to muggle stuff?"

Draco sighed, shifting onto his back and staring up at the food-splattered underside of the Gryffindor table, "The only good Pureblood band is the Weird Sisters. That's about it. There's some creepy cultural and ethnic stuff, but that usually involves old women and toenails." He shuddered.

Hermione yelled out beside him, causing him to turn his head and get splashed with the remnants of milk hitting her face. Apparently somebody missed splashing someone else.

"Oh man Granger," He commented as she pushed the limp curls out of her face, "I pray that you'll take a shower after this."

Hermione shot him another one of her (what Draco now called) stop-being-stupid-Malfoy glares.

After a moment of silence, during which both of the teens stared up at the food-covered underside of the table, ignoring the riff-raff occurring around them, Hermione said, "Should we go back out there?"

"Nah," Draco replied, eying the chaos of legs just steps away from his face, "I'd rather not get more food plastered to myself, thank you very much. Plus, it's like learning stuff about the enemy. Who knew Gryffindors ate so much cereal?" He indicated to the underside of the table above them.

"Better than the grease that Slytherins regularly inhale," Hermione replied.

"Oh, you better take that back, Granger." Draco grinned crookedly at Hermione, causing her to pause for a second at his smile.

So there was a reason why Malfoy was considered one of the hottest boys at school.

"I don't think so," Hermione huffed, crossing her arms across her chest and sinking into the floor, shaking her head from side to side, "You can't make me do anything."

"Take it back …" Draco's grin turned into a bad-boy smirk as he edged closer to Hermione.

"No, Malfoy!" Hermione frowned furiously at him as Draco's arm extended across her stomach, although to tell you the truth, she didn't really put up too much of a fight.

"Take it back …"

"MALFOYYYYYY!!"

And with a quick roll, Draco swung himself on top of Hermione, his legs straddling her waist and his bare torso above her chest as she shrieked, trying to free herself.

"Get off of me!" Hermione whined after a couple minutes of realizing that fighting the 6 foot tall male in front of her was futile.

"Not until you say you're sorry," Draco whispered, lowering his face down unconsciously towards hers until their lips were almost touching.

Hermione licked her lips and Draco nearly moaned out loud when her tongue came in contact with his lips, a tiny, warm spot of wetness, causing her to widen her eyes and let out a tiny, almost indistinctable whimper of pleasure. He felt her breathing increase, and slackened his grip around her as her fingers suddenly ran down the side of his face, trailing through the grooves and curves of his delectable cheekbones. Watching her the whole time, Draco saw the inexcusable redness of a blush colour her cheeks as her fingers continued to dance across his face, causing Draco to feel a salsa of emotion and raw need that words could never describe.

Up close, Hermione could be considered beautiful in a way that most girls weren't. Her light brown frizzy hair was tangled and wild like a lioness around her head, and her eyes were framed with long and dark brown lashes that ended in blonde at the tips. Her wide hazel eyes complemented her normal-sized nose, and her lips pleasingly curved downwards when relaxed and were nicely formed, a beautiful shade of gentle raspberry.

Her breath smelt like strawberries, with an exotic side note of strong, dark chocolate.

Fuck the Malfoy morals.

He bent his head towards her and hesitantly brushed his lips against hers, causing Hermione to loudly moan and grab his blond hair, pulling his face closer to hers.

Her lips? They added a tang of whipped cream into the equation of her touch.


	8. Chapter 8

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**Thanks for the reviews, everyone! BTW, I'm now lostmoonsoldier instead of Queen Nightingale; it suits me more. I've changed SO much this year already, for better or for worse (Dickens is always right). Nothing much is up with me right now, just prepping for a friend's huge house party on Halloween (yes, I'm VERRRRR excited!), focusing on passing my upcoming Economics test and life in general. I feel icky about this chapter, so it's pretty short, but feel free to leave me a review (OH, and if you want a specific side pairing of people, include it in your review)!**

**Also, check out the one-shot I posted of a poem that reminds me of Dramione's kiss from the last chapter. It's quite different, but I have a tendency of doing that.**

* * *

_There are an awful lot of scientists today who believe that before very long we shall have unraveled all the secrets of the universe. There will be no puzzles anymore. To me it'd be really, really tragic because I think one of the most exciting things is this feeling of mystery, feeling of awe, the feeling of looking at a little live thing and being amazed by it and how its emerged through these hundreds of years of evolution and there it is and it is perfect and why._

_- Jane Goodall_

* * *

Draco slowly removed his lips from Hermione's.

She was even more pretty, if that was possible, with her hair all tousled and lips all swollen.

"What was that?" She mumbled, slowly opening her eyes and meeting Draco's troubled grey ones.

"I don't know." He ruffled his hair and sat back on his ankles, leaving her room to get up, "But it felt damn good."

Hermione was silent, sitting cross-legged from him. Draco yearned to reach out and hold her, but stopped himself.

Wait.

What was he thinking?

"We can't tell anyone about this." Hermione eyed Draco, who sighed and ruffled his hair some more.

"I know."

* * *

Hermione fidgeted and stared at Draco, who was looking at the floor as he languidly traced patterns on it with his finger. His hair was ruffled and tousled, and his cheeks were a light shade of pink. His chest still looked carved out of ivory, and Hermione gasped inwardly. She had just kissed this Adonis.

"This was a mistake!" Draco shook his head and finally met Hermione's eyes, grey against hazel, purebloods against muggles, "This cannot get out. This was a HUGE mistake." He groaned and sank his head back, emphasizing his well defined collarbone.

"Don't think that I'm not feeling the same way, Malfoy." Hermione scowled at him, slightly insulted by his tone, "I'm not any more eager than you to be known as the Gryffindor who kissed the ferret."

"No more than the Slytherin who kissed the bookworm," Draco moaned, hiding his face in his hands, his eyes huge orbs like the moon, "Oh Merlin. If Blaise finds out?"

"If Blaise finds out? What about HARRY? And … Ron?" Hermione lay back and stared up at the cereal-coated underside of the Gryffindor table.

Both teens paused for a second, going through the worst case scenarios in their brains.

"This CANNOT get out!" Hermione yelped out, sitting back up and startling Draco out of his thoughts, "I won't let it!"

"Well it's not like it's going to get out." Draco moved closer to Hermione, looking deep into her eyes, "As long as we both keep our mouths closed, nothing will have changed."

Hermione nodded in agreement, looking at Draco's swirling pools of green and yellow and grey, and falling into the abyss he called eyes.

"You," Draco broke off eye contact with Hermione, and moved away, looking as if he wanted to pace but didn't have the room to, "Will act like you normally do towards me. With spite and rudeness, and I will be just as cruel back to you. I'm not giving you any special treatment about this."

Hermione scoffed, "I wouldn't want any."

"I don't think you understand, Granger," Draco grabbed Hermione's arms and forced her to look straight at him, "If this gets out, I'll lose my inheritance. And that's not something I'm willing to risk for you."

Hermione yanked herself out of his grasp, rubbing her hands where his larger ones dug into her skin, and replied, sticking her nose in the air, "Well, I wasn't going to risk anything for you, so we're good."

"Good."

"Good."

Hermione eyed Draco out of the corner of her eye.

She watched as he fidgeted and avoided her eye.

She watched as he groaned.

She watched as he crawled out from the Gryffindor table.

She watched as he peered back under the table, and looked her in the eye.

"Granger, NO. I am NOT kissing you again."

"I wasn't thinking that you were going to." Hermione huffed and pulled herself from under the table, re-emerging into the chaos that still surrounded them, spotting Ginny making out with Harry in a corner and Padma throwing milk at Ron, and ignored the hand Draco offered her, "Now let's get back to our lives."

"That would be a pleasure."

And she watched him walk away.


	9. Chapter 9

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**I wanted to reply to your reviews, but couldn't, per usual. THIS TIME AROUND, however, I will use a friend's laptop. So review and feel the eloquence in my reply. Or something.**

**Halloween's over!!! It was pretty sucky, not gonna lie. I didn't eventually end up going to my friend's house party, but went to the school dance, which sucked. Bad decision on my part. And anyways, at the house party, nothing unusual happened except Canada's biggest man-whore making out with Canada's biggest … bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep. So after crashing from a massive sugar high, I just crashed into bed at around 1 in the morning and fell asleep, despite my wishes to stay up and go to the house party. I'm partially glad I didn't.**

**However, I did parade myself around dressed as Pippi Longstocking, complete with stick-out pigtails and freckles. Which was fun, but extraordinarily painful. A coat hanger through your hair is never a good way to walk down a busy street.**

**This chapter is dedicated to all of you who had as sucky of a Halloween as I did, and felt bad for themselves, their retarded social lives and their stupid asshole friends, eventually pigging out on Fruit Roll-Ups or whatever candy of choice they had close to them the next day.**

**Oh, and please review! I promise to write back! I am quite proud of the research I put into this chapter.**

* * *

"When we remember we are all mad,

the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."

- Mark Twain

* * *

Hermione flounced into the Potions classroom, five minutes early as usual, promptly sitting at the front of the class and waiting for Harry to materialize. Ron was in the Potions class with the Ravenclaws.

Realizing that she was alone in the room, she sighed, crossing her legs and getting out her quill, ink and parchment.

Dipping her quill into her stunningly violet coloured ink, she began to doodle, drawing dragons and knights on her parchment, that came alive and went into combat with each other. She drew out the entire story of swan lake, had the nutcracker walking across to meet the frog prince, and drew a ballerina who twirled and ribbon-danced her way up and down the margins.

Sitting back, Hermione stretched, looking down at her piece of art.

She smiled softly.

Wizard art was so simply fantastic, so marvelous. But it never beat the pure genius of Michelangelo, Donatello, the famous stone workers.

Or even L.H.O.O.Q.

(**A/N: Du Champs signed one of his works L.H.O.O.Q. (Pronounce it in French. Think about it. Or get one of your French friends to tell you what it means.) He was considered one of the most controversial artists of the 20****th**** century, daring to place a urinal in a gallery and call it art, and he desecrated a copy of the Mona Lisa, causing outrage in the art world. I think he was a pretty wicked and funny genius.)**

Sighing, she stretched again, shoving her parchment back into her bag as the class began to slowly trickle through the door.

Harry plopped down in the seat beside her, and Hermione turned to face him.

Expecting scintillating conversation, Hermione was surprised when his head crashed down onto the table and the Boy-Who-Lived fell promptly asleep.

Rolling her eyes, Hermione turned to Neville, who sat on her other side.

"I-I d-d-d-on't know w-wuh-wuh-yy I t-t-took t-this c-clas-s," Neville stammered out, his face already a blotchy red and his hands twitching, "P-p-r-o-ffessor S-se-se-snape is abb-b-bsolutely ttt-terrifying."

"Neville, honestly, most of what you're feeling is nonsense." Hermione attempted to console Neville, patting him on the back and helping him get out his supplies, "Don't worry, I'll help you through some of the harder potions. The only reason why you don't score as well in this class as in Herbology is because you have this inane fear of Snape."

"B-buh-buht he's so sc-c-cary!" Neville looked like he was about to burst into tears.

"Here, use these," Hermione ruffled through her bag and took out some lavender and eucalyptus smelling salts, "Smell these quickly and you'll calm down a bit."

Neville cast a shaky glance at Hermione, then bent down and sniffed the salts in her outstretched hand. He sat back up, and looked back at Hermione.

"They don't appear to have d-done anything," Neville replied to Hermione, his hands still shaking violently.

"Well you're not stuttering as badly as you were before, so that's a start." Hermione wrly said, placing the salts back into her bag and getting her work table ready.

She had a specific system for how her potions lab bench was set up, mainly because her lowest mark was in Potions and Hermione had to keep everything neat and organized so she could focus her entire attention on Professor Snape, who she secretly highly valued.

On the right corner of her crickety black wooden desk were the basic ingredients, such that you might find in Muggle households: sea salt from Australia, water, donkey's milk, goat's milk, black peppercorns, sage, hickory, blackberries, and some other herbs, all contained neatly inside various beakers and flasks. In the left corner were the more magical ingredients, such as frogs legs, newt's eyeballs, spider's fur, and powdered merman fingernails. Her parchment, quill, ink, and pen cleaner were all in the middle of her ingredients, and her cauldron was tucked underneath her desk. Her wand was to the side of her parchment, and her chair was always the perfect distance from her desk.

To say Hermione was a bit anal would be an understatement.

Hermione quickly opened up her school bag and retrieved her goggles, which she put in the center top of her desk, just in time before Professor Snape swooped into the class.

"Good afternoon, class," Snape drawled in his characteristic low honeyed tone, swishing his wand and writing notes on the chalkboard, "Does anyone know what we're going to be learning about today?"

The class was silent, and even the smug Hermione couldn't raise her hand.

"Potter, wake up. 20 Points from Gryffindor," Snape barked, and Harry's head was slammed upwards into his chair, causing him to moan and sink dazedly lower into his chair, "Today, yes, today, will be when you all brew one of the most important potions of your life."

Hermione eagerly edged closer to her desk, frowning and slouching slightly when she spotted Malfoy doing the same across the room.

"Today we will be brewing Acerbus Aranea. Can anyone tell me what that means?"

Hermione's hand shot up into the air, and Snape made a show of purposely looking around the room before his gaze landed on Hermione.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Acerbus means bitter in latin, and Aranea means spider web. So we would be brewing Bitter spider web when directly translated into English."

"Correct," Snape began to pace back and forth at the front of the class, his long black cloak billowing behind him, "And does anyone know what Acerbus Aranea is?"

The class fell silent.

"Mr. Longbottom?"

"I-I am not q-q-quite s-sure Proff-f-fessor Sn-n-ape," Neville replied nervously, sinking into his seat from fear. Well, at least he didn't faint like last time, Hermione noted in her head.

"Ah, I should have guessed," Snape replied smoothly, his voice like butter.

"Acerbus Aranea was first created by a witch by the name of Gwendolyn Everett in 1536. When she was traveling down by Rome, in Italy, during the High Renaissance, Everett created this potion as a way to seduce her lover, Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni."

Hermione gasped, and her hand shot up in the air.

"Yes, Miss Granger?" Snape rolled his eyes.

"Sir, that doesn't make sense," Hermione crinkled her eyebrows, "Michelangelo had two lovers: Tommaso dei Cavaleri and the noble poet Vittoria Colonna. And it is impossible to state that Michelangelo had any sexual relationships with either; it was rumoured that he was as chaste as a monk."

Snape looked a bit surprised, and then nodded in Hermione's direction, regaining his composure.

"I'm glad to see that someone has a bit of interest in the Arts," Hermione proudly blushed, "However, you're wrong."

The Slytherin side of the room laughed, and Hermione crossed her arms and stuck her nose up in the air.

"Vittoria Colonna, Michelangelo's second great love, was, in fact, Gwendolyn Everett playing with time itself. She came from a time in the future that no scholar is quite certain of, excluding the Department of Mysteries. Using a time turner, she was sent back to make Michelangelo write sonnets to her, to make him intellectually fall in love with her, a concept that I am sure most of this class does not understand. Somehow this related to Michelangelo's eventual design of the St. Peter's Basilica in Rome, although most are not sure how this relates to our current world.

Gwendolyn Everett was no ordinary witch. From many analyses of Michelangelo's dead body, scholars have managed to determine that this potion, what we call Acerbus Aranea, was used on Michelangelo to make him fall in love with her."

"Now, we must backtrack quickly."

"Has anyone ever heard of the Seelie and UnSeelie Courts?"

Hermione groaned and sank a bit into her seat. The one area she didn't study before class Snape quizzed them on.

"Mr. Malfoy?"

Hermione's head turned at lightning speed, as her glance latched onto the blond boy currently answering the question.

Ruffling his hair nonchalantly, Draco answered, "The Seelie and UnSeelie Courts were two divisions of the fairies, back when they were powerful enough to be considered a large force. The Seelie Court was considered 'holy', while the UnSeelie Court was considered 'unholy'." He smirked and turned his gaze on Hermione, who scowled back at him, pushing the butterflies dancing in her stomach away.

"That is partially correct, Mr. Malfoy, but not completely," Snape's voice drizzled across the room, making Draco's smirk erase off his face and one to be painted on Hermione's, "It is a common misperception that the Seelie Court is 'good' while the UnSeelie court is 'bad'. This is not true."

"For humans, mortals, and all witches or wizards that depend upon air to survive, both Courts are considered equally dangerous. The Light Court, or Seelie, is just as dangerous as the Dark Court, or UnSeelie; in this case Light is just as treacherous as Dark, just sometimes the darkness is more hidden in the Seelie Court."

"This is similar to Acerbus Aranea. This potion consists of two parts: a spell called Bendith y Mamau, or 'blessing of the mothers' in Welsh, placed on a potion called Labores Solis, or 'eclipse of the sun'."

"Today," Snape sighed, reclining back on his teacher's desk, "You will be working on creating Labores Solis with an assigned partner." With a flick of his wand instruction sheets were sent out to all students, landing neatly on their desks.

Hermione grumbled under her breath as her sheet landed on her wand.

"Your task is to create the potion and discover what it does, without the effects of Bendith y Mamau, the spell, added to it."

"Here are your partners," Snape swished his wand again, and slips of parchment with scrawled names were sent flying out to the class, "Don't complain to me about who you get paired up with. I expect a 25-inch essay by the end of the week. Whatever you don't get done in class, you must do for homework." And he promptly swished and swashed his slimy way over to his supply closet and started arranging ingredients.

"Oh, I totally can see this coming," Hermione muttered under her breath, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes and flipping over her parchment, "Please, please, please, please Merlin, not him."

She opened one of her eyes and groaned, nudging the sleeping Harry in the process.

"Of course. Draco Malfoy."

Harry sputtered and woke up.


	10. Chapter 10

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**DUDDDDEEESSSS!!!!**

**Yes, I used my friend's computer, and I replied to all of you!!!! Or mostly. Unfortunately, my friend refused to let me use her computer any more, so I couldn't reply to Takkue or BelhavenOnTap. BUT BE PATIENT; I will reply to you once my friend succumbs to my puppy dog look.**

… **Which may take a while.**

**I got my report card back and it is apparent that I have not failed. Woot. Which is actually a huge surprise. But I have made up for my faults by achieving 'Needs Improvement' in 'Works Independently' (AKA I have too much fun for my teachers' tastes) in two subjects. So with this pride, I refuse to do my homework for those subjects and will procrastinate with this junk. **

**I am sorry if this is a bit short.**

**Enjoy, as per usual.**

* * *

_Eat before shopping. _

_If you go to the store hungry,_

_you are likely to make unnecessary purchases_

_- American Heart Association Cookbook_

* * *

Hermione sat down in the library, twiddling her thumbs and staring at the entrance door.

She looked down at her watch.

4:50.

She looked back up.

She swore.

"UUUGGHHGHHHHH." Hermione muttered, disturbing a random Ravenclaw who cast her a dirty look, "Where the hell is he?"

She looked back up at the door, then down at her watch again.

4:51.

"Blimey hell, I'm not just going to wait here like an idiot for him!"

4:53

"I mean it! If he doesn't come through those doors in a minute, I'm going!"

4:54

"Maybe something happened to him …"

4:56

"Yeah right, it's Malfoy."

4:57

"I'm leaving! Going! Goodbye! Gone!"

4:58

"ARGHHHHH."

The Ravenclaw from across the library, who looked like he was about to burst with impatience and irritation, yelled out at Hermione from across the room, "If the boy's so much trouble, go find him!"

Hermione shut up and cast (what she considered) a scathing look at the Ravenclaw, shutting him up. She slowly started to pick up her stuff, when she started to hear noise from the hallway.

Her brown eyes shifted towards the door, and with a bang and a boom Draco Malfoy entered the Library.

"Surprise surprise," Hermione hissed at Draco as he sauntered over to her seat, waving goodbye to Pansy and a bunch of Slytherins, "I didn't realize you knew where the Library was."

"Surprise surprise, Granger," Draco literally purred at her, straddling a chair and facing her, "But I do."

"No eating in the library, Malfoy!" Hermione glowered at him as he started to drink from a slushie in his hand.

"Fuck off Granger, do you want to get this done or not?"

"Obviously you don't, since you're so obviously ignoring the rules of the library!" Hermione scowled at him as Draco's smirk grew, "And you're also twenty minutes late!"

"Big deal Granger, I'm sure you expected it," Draco dramatically downed the rest of his slushie and then threw it into a trash can at the side of the table with a bang.

"Could you be a bit less noisy, people are working here!" Hermione yell/whispered at him.

Draco rolled his eyes at Hermione, and then took the piece of parchment that was in front of her.

"What work have you already done, bookworm?"

"Nothing yet," Hermione sighed, cradling her head in her hands and watching Draco as he examined her parchment. Blond eyelashes were so … bizarre. But exceptionally hot.

Draco groaned and stretched, Hermione averting her eyes when his crisp white top tightened against his abs.

"Well, we better get cracking."

* * *

Two hours later, Hermione glanced up from her work to find Draco sloppily gazing at the book in front of him, his mouth hanging open and a lock of white gold about to fall into his eyes.

She giggled and stretched like a cat, not noticing his eyes snap up as her body started to move.

"I think supper's about to start right now, we might as well begin to clean up," Hermione indicated the parchment surrounding the pair.

"Mmm," Draco grinned at Hermione, catching her off guard again, "I hear they're having Yorkshire pudding today."

What she would do to have him smile like that at her.

Hermione quickly gulped and looked down at her piece of parchment, quickly replying, "Yeah, yeah."

Draco frowned at her.

"Are you okay, bookworm?"

Hermione glared at Draco, their previous acquaintance forgotten, "Yeah, why?"

"You seemed sad there for a second," Draco put his two fingers under her chin and lifted her face up to meet his, getting out of his chair and towering a bit over her.

"Must have been the light," Hermione yanked her face out of his grasp, looking back down at the parchment and starting to pile stuff up.

Draco leaned against his chair and watched her.

Hermione tossed a curl over her shoulder as she worked, and glared back up at Draco.

"What, Malfoy?"

"Bookworm," Draco sighed, "Sometimes there will be times in your life when not everything goes to plan. But you have to rise past those moments," His face lit up in mockery, "and seize the day!"

Hermione remained silent, and glared at him again.

"Shut up Malfoy, I get it," Draco rolled his eyes and sank back down into his chair, collecting his quills and shoving them into his backpack

"Carpe your own diem," Hermione replied, rolling her eyes in response and piling up her parchments, getting up and trying to carry them past Draco.

"Now now, I wouldn't be a gentleman if I didn't carry that for you, now would I be?" Draco lethargically leaned over and grabbed half of Hermione's pile of papers, slinging on his backpack and walking in front of Hermione.

Hermione glared daggers at his back, nearly toppling over from the weight of her bags and textbooks, as well as the parchments she was clinging onto.

"I was fine, you know."

"Exactly why you were about to fall over," Draco replied scathingly, looking back at Hermione from in front of her, readjusting his backpack.

"Shut up, Malfoy."


	11. Chapter 11

Title:

**Chardonnay and Scotch**

Description:

**She tasted like honeysuckle and wild violet. He tasted like sizzling champagne on a summer's day. Two lovers. One was chardonnay. And one was scotch. HDr.**

Disclaimer:

**I own nothing.**

Author's Note:

**I'm late, I know. My RL has been intense up to this point.**

**I would inform you as of why, but I'm too lazy to comply. Let me just say; it involves two boys, one of which is shallow and hot and the other of which is decent but only mildly attractive. I like neither. They have both indicated their crushes in various ways, although neither of them have enough of a backbone to formally declare them to me without using their friends. Problemo, much?**

**I've been mainly sticking to reading various fictions on this site and ignoring my own. But I missed Draco's sexy arse. And I'm starting to forget what true love and lust feels like.**

**I didn't reply to most of you but know that you have my everlasting gratitude.**

**The last bit of the story was Draco sexily carrying Mione's books.**

**I love you all. **

* * *

_We are here and it is now. _

_Further than that all human knowledge is moonshine._

_- H.L. Mencken_

* * *

Draco continued to walk in front of Hermione, to her everlasting chagrin.

Damn her small, skinny stature and short legs. Damn her genes. Damn her frizzy hair. Damn her slightly rounded stomach. Damn her (now fixed) slightly crooked teeth.

And while she's at it, Damn Draco Malfoy.

After all, the boy lived to damn her.

* * *

Draco continued to stroll down the hallway, his back straight and strong, looking like he owned the school.

You know what I'm talking about. He had that perfect Boy Walk. Perfectly saggy jeans, broad shoulders, that type.

Lethargically adjusting the strap of his backpack, he re-slung it over his shoulder and turned around, waiting for Granger to catch up.

"Dear bookworm," Draco commented, smirking slightly as he saw her huffing and puffing her way behind him, "I know I possess amazingly long legs and an amazing body. But could you hurry up a bit?"

Hermione stopped, leaning against a nearby suit of armor and panting for breath.

"Malfoy …"

"Yes, bookworm?"

"Urrrgh, GAHRHGH!" Hermione groaned, thrusting her head backward and inadvertently banging it against the suit of armor's headpiece, sliding down the wall to land on her ass, papers going everywhere.

She closed her eyes, and Draco grinned as he sauntered up closer to her. Teehee. Another way to tease her.

He leaned down, still holding her books, and whispered into her ear.

"Now now, bookworm, I know I'm fantastic, but I would prefer it if you weren't quite so unsubtle in bowing down to me."

"Your insults are so scathing, Malfoy, I'm burning in hot water." Hermione retorted, her eyes clearly rolling despite the fact that they weren't open.

Draco smiled back at her, although she didn't see it.

"I really, really am hungry," Hermione commented, cracking open one of her eyes and staring deeply into Draco's unsettling silver ones, "And dinner's going to be over in" She checked her watch "fifteen minutes. We're not going to make it there in time if we walk."

Draco's eyes widened with glee, and started to twinkle.

Hermione instinctively edged closer to her suit of armor.

"Malfoy …"

"Dear bookworm, I do believe I have found the answer to your dilemma," Draco replied mischeviously, his thick platinum blond hair swaying into his eyes. He shook the strands away, and took out his wand.

Hermione's eyes began to narrow, and her lips pursed, "Draco Malfoy, I will not have you doing anything stupid no--"

"ACCIO BROOM!" Draco roared, stepping away from Hermione and catching his newest up-to-date broom as it flew towards him.

Looking down, he grinned crookedly at Hermione, and her heart began to inadvertently pound when he extended a pale hand to her.

"Shall we dance?"

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!" Hermione screamed, clutching onto Draco's body for all her might as they swooped through the hallways of Hogwarts.

"THIS IS INSANITY!!!" Hermione yelled at Draco, her body tightly pressed against his as he bent down close to his broom, his platinum hair flying backwards in the wind.

"Then why did you agree to do it?" Draco replied, his voice strong as they suddenly veered to the right to avoid a crowd of Hufflepuff first years.

"I REALLY LIKE YORKSHIRE PUDDING!"

"Hold on tight," Draco raised his voice and sat up a bit straighter so Hermione could hear him clearly, "We're on a straight course for the Great Hall."

"DISEMBARK! DISEMBARK!" Hermione shrieked at the top of her lungs.

Draco slowed down for a couple seconds, looking at Hermione over his shoulder where she lay nestled against him.

"Did you just say disembark, bookworm?"

Hermione pressed her burning face into Draco's hard back.

"No," She replied unconvincingly, mentally slapping herself.

With a throaty laugh that made Hermione look up at Draco in awe, Draco began to speed up the broom again, avoiding a group of Gryffindors as they pointed and stared at the duo.

He shot up a staircase just to explode out of the Observatory tower, Hermione screaming bloody murder on his back, pausing for a second before going in a perfectly vertical dive before swooping up and before nearly hitting the ground.

"ARE YOU BLOODY MENTAL?" Hermione gripped onto Draco with an iron clamp, swearing under her breath as she realized that she was still alive, "You nearly killed us!"

"Yeah," Draco loudly replied, his voice raised over the wind as they swept across the Quidditch field, headed straight for the glass windows of the Great Hall, "But even you have to admit that it was fun."

"Mmm," Hermione made a so-so gesture that made Draco emit another sexy, throaty laugh.

She looked around his body, making sure that she didn't look down or let go of him.

Hermione stared straight at the glass windows of the Great Hall, and then up at Draco's determined face.

"No. No. No, Malfoy, don't, no … DRACO!!!!" Hermione screamed as the glass panels came closer and closer to their speeding broom.

"Dear, dear, bookworm," Draco grinned crookedly, "It's time for you to have some fun. Now hold on tight."

Hermione screamed, hiding her face behind Draco's back.

CRASHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


End file.
